Start With Your Family

I was at a lunch today, the person I was with commented on how important it is to be polite to waiters. He never complains about service and leave big tips. He said if a see’s how someone interacts with a waiter, it’s telling of their character.

In my experience with him, he wasn’t lying, he treated the server fine.

However …

I’ve also watched him publicly berate and humiliate his wife (his 3rd). His adult children barely speak to him anymore. He burns through employees every few months.

I often see people who claim virtue due to some random “nice” behavior they performed with an audience. Making a donation at a fundraiser, taking a cart back at the grocery store or holding the door for someone isn’t hard and doesn’t tell me anything about a person. I’m not impressed that you were “polite” to a stranger for a few seconds.

Maintaining a healthy relationship with your spouse and family is hard. Creating a positive culture in your organization is hard. Developing relationships with employees, clients and partners is hard. I’m highly impressed when someone can achieve this.

PS

If you tell someone how polite you are you’re lying.